smv update: i’m not a popsicle yet

Things I have recently learned:

  • Snowmass Village, CO isn’t just cold… It’s nearly ARCTIC when thrust upon my PNW bones.
  • I’m terrible at keeping a blog.
  • It’s as simple as hearing an amazing Kooks remix or turning on the latest Alessia Cara jam to get my creative juices back in motion.

The rumors are true. I have officially packed my bags, shoved them in my little car (Felicity the Focus), and moved to Snowmass Village, CO. I broke the news to my fiends and family much like ripping off a band-aid. I knew that it was going to hurt; pain was going to be involved and I thought it best to get it over with as quickly as possible. What surprised me though, wasn’t the reactions I received. It was my OWN reaction to the whole situation that caught me off guard. Multiple times during my journey I found myself crying. And not just tears but huge, enormous, and gigantic, alligator tears! And sometimes, I couldn’t stop. All it would take was a song, a road sign, literally the smallest and most (what I originally believed) insignificant things, and BAM! The flood gates opened and I was sobbing on the side of the road.
I’ve been here a couple weeks now and while the tears have subsided (once every couple days because I’m not cold and heartless; I’m a homesick baby lamb),  I am still scared. blog8

 

  • I’m scared of loosing whatever sense of “home” I have.
  • I’m scared of not being great at my job.
  • I’m scared of driving in all of this goddamn snow.

 

The list seems endless some days. The back of my mind is a dangerous place.

  • What if I’m not asking the right questions?
  • What if my new friends secretly think I’m nuts?
  • What if my boss thinks I’m stupid?
  • What if everyone I love forgets about me?
  • What if I forget about THEM?!

But no matter how terrifying a thing this whole experience has been, I know that there is a reason. A reason I’m scared and full of questions and really, a reason for everything in-between.

I’m not a standard believer of God or Fate or Whatever. But I’m learning to believe in MYSELF. And quite frankly, I think the belief in oneself is a better “reason” than any to make your own dreams come true.

All images found via Pinterest. Writer does NOT own. Pinterest search: wanderlust

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