lies. pantsuits. and fake tans. oh my! election buzz:2016

I’ve been quiet about this election for a very long time. I’m typically quiet about every election. Voting, for me, is very calculated. I feel as though I have to weigh every option. From American Idol to the next fucking President, voting without all of the information has it’s downfalls that range from pitchy Christmas CDs (I’m looking’ at you Justin Guarini) to oh I don’t know, a goddamn WALL? Electroshock therapy to ZAP the gay away?

Now that it is over and I have done my part, I feel as though I can say this:

What in the actual FUCK?! whatintheactualfuck!!! 

Yes, SHE lied. But what fucking person HASN’T?

  • “Yes, I did my homework”
  • “No, I didn’t eat the last piece of pizza”
  • “Of course I know what an electoral college is”

We are ALL guilty of lying. That’s a goddamn fact. A large majority of us, as a human population, have been sneaky. We have lied. We have hidden things. We have deleted text messages, phone calls, and even fucking emails to avoid getting in to trouble. If you say that you haven’t… well then welcome to the club, LIAR.

And while we have all committed this apparently unforgivable act, do you know what we haven’t done?

  • Been married to a politician (another president at fucking THAT!)
  • Held a position in the Senate
  • Blown Bill Clinton

Okay, that last one was joke. But you get my point.

*And for all we know, Hilary has blown Bill. She just wasn’t as eager as a young intern, starving for… “knowledge.”

What I’m saying is this:

Yes, SHE lied.

But when it comes to lists of who has done WHAT wrong in their lives, not telling the whole truth is really it for my girl, Hil. (That and pantsuits… oh the pantsuits.) Hilary has both EXPERIENCE and a SKILL SET. Two things you need for the following:

  • Operating a motor vehicle
  • Operating an air plane
  • Operating anything, really
  • Oh! and I don’t know, successfully operate a COUNTRY?

Trump, while a brilliant business man, fails to match up. The man couldn’t even be bothered to spend the necessary time running his own FAMILY.

*And family is something I thought all of the backwoods hicks aka a majority of the Republican party held to the highest of calibers. I think the list goes something like: family, guns, God, and cousins or something.

Compassion is a trait, I think we have forgotten. Through the vicious words candidates sling at each other, all the way down to the ridiculous (though hilarious at times) memes. We are only building up these monsters.

While I can commend Trump for his business skills and ability to truly solidify himself in this iconic “Presidential Candidate with ZERO Experience or Skill” role, I cannot help but wonder what about his campaign can cast such a shadow on his values as a PERSON (Does his florescent orange hue cause THAT much of a distraction?).

Yes, this election has been a Tale of Two Evils. I get that. For what it’s worth, I’m hoping this post get your brain juices flowing in a positive way. And I hope it encourages you (and you. and you) to get out and vote!

And if you’re a woman, gay, trans, black, hispanic, or anything else. Use Nov. 8th. Stand together and have your voice be heard. Voting is a right. Don’t let it be taken away.



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