iPhone notes for when you’re stoned…

I have a nasty habit. When I’m inebriated, I become a philosopher. I think up some ground breaking (and not so ground breaking) thoughts that deserve to be heard. And then I write them in the Notes Application on my iPhone. Because it’s 2017 and I lose every goddamn notebook I buy. This may seem like a cop out blog, and it kind of is. While I find inspiration (i.e. sort through my life), enjoy some of my most favorite thoughts from my iphone:


“That’s the thing about growing up. It happens. The earth rotates. The sun rises, it sets, and it starts all over again. We don’t live in a comic book or a fairy tale. Superman cannot fly backwards agains the rotation of the earth to turn back time. We don’t get do-overs. There is no magic spell. From day one, it is all systems go. While we believe and preach this notion that tough times are just “set backs”, the world does not stop turning. Time will not stop or pause because you lost your job or a friend; or even your wallet. We cannot throw our hands to the sky and plead, “just give me a fucking minute, man!” There is no catching your breath in this game called, “Life”. Time and growing up only allow two options: get with the program. Or get out entirely.” –Jan. 2017


“Waffles are just pancakes with abs. Both are made of flour and eggs and happiness on a sunday morning. But ones has this crazy great brunch plug while the other is just like, “meh pancakes.” All because of the abs. the nooks and crannies that soak up all of the peanut butter and syrup. If you think about it, pancakes are a healthier version of waffles… but waffles have a better rap, because of the abs. Waffles are just pancakes with abs.”–Feb. 2017


“be fucking groundbreaking”–Dec.2016


“jerm is a little bitch. tell kokes in am”– Feb. 2016

*Disclaimer: I also write notes about people I’m mad at in the moment as a reminder for when I’m not stoned or drunk to tell my best friend, Kokes about. Apparently. I’m not sure what this was even about actually. But every time I see it in my notes I die laughing. To this day, Jerm is actually a really good friend of mine. And I routinely ask him for advice and drunk snapchat him. He’s a good person. And probably did nothing wrong in this moment and I hated him for nothing.


“I am Blair Waldorf, Blair Waldorf is me.”–Nov. 2016


Images found on Pinterest. Author does NOT own images. Pinterest search: indie girl

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