First of all: how fucking dare you. Each day without you is so boring and without snacks. And I hate being without snacks. But mostly, I hate being without you. As one of my first official hires at this hellscape I pretend is a hotel, you have a special place in my heart.
We had a rocky start. I’m mean and bossy and sometimes rude. My impatience is one of my greatest obstacles. But you, my darling, have showed me that there are ways and tones and dictions that will get me much further. You have helped me realize that my bark is much bigger than my bite. And you have helped me realize why I put up with the hours, guests, and executive committee.
I am so unbelievably proud of you. I am proud of who you have grown into; both personally and professionally in the year I’ve had you by my side. I am so eager to see where your next adventure may take you. And I am so excited for Bottomless Mimosas (because we can legitimately do that now and I won’t be accused of playing favorites.)
You will go on to do great things, minion. I cannot wait. Happy first day!